Spring Break is breaking. 

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Is your SPRING about to BREAK?

Gone are the predictable routines, the rhythm of life, and the 6.5 hours of non-parenting. Our lives are in complete chaos. Our children don’t know what to do with all this disposable time. Play with friends? Watch TV? Ask mom for food? Play video games? Make messes? Ask mom for more food? Watch a movie? Ask mom for….

Spring Break is breaking, but I’m about to fix it.

For the rest of this week, I’m going to have each part of their day broken down into 50-minute blocks of activities, just like school. This way, they will experience familiar structure and will stop asking us to entertain them or referee them. Something like this:

8:00am   Quietly wake up, pray and read your Bible

8:50am   Quietly re-read your Bible, just in case you missed something

9:40am   Gently awaken your parents with the smell of coffee and homemade donuts

10:30am Clean up all the messes you made from…the last Spring Break. 

11:20am Pay the bills…with your piggy bank money

12:10pm Make lunch out of anything FREE that you find around the neighborhood: vegetation, insects, road kill…

1:00pm   Do homework. No homework? Make up your own. Find a dictionary or something. Make up exciting games with calculators. 

1:50pm   Bathe. All that homework and chores makes you sweaty.

2:40pm   Stand outside and wait for the school bus to pick you up.

3:30pm   Realize that no school bus is picking you up, come inside.

I think all the parents out there would agree that this is a highly-productive schedule that will serve two purposes:

  1. It will inspire families worldwide (or at least the dozen people who will read this) to rise up and lovingly revolt against their children, taking back the true intent of Spring Break: TO RELAX.
  2. It will highly motivate my kids to further their educational endeavors as soon as possible.
Obviously, this post is all in good fun. I love having our kids around. I love spending more time with them than normal. Someday, our kids will leave home, and they will visit on rare occasions like Spring Break.
 
Maybe by then, they’ll be able to prepare our taxes.
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